I have been wanting to write this blog post for some time… our life with three kids. Now George is 8.5 months old and I am finally getting around to posting it! That pretty much sums up how life is around here. Sometimes it takes a bit to get to things!!

About a year ago I sat down to write a blog post about life as we were preparing to have our third child. I had no idea what to expect. Mothers at the playground told me it was just adding one more to the chaos you were already used to. I had developed a “roll with it” mentality and we were just going to take one day at a time, and would continue to do so.

I first want to preface this “life with three kids” blog post by saying that everyone is so different. And everyone wants different things. Not one family or person is the same or at the same stage of life at the same time. That is what makes each life so beautiful. There are also those that do not want children, those that pray each night to have a child, and those morning the loss of a child. Motherhood, and really adulthood in general, is such a rollercoaster of emotions, no matter what rollercoaster you are on. My heart goes out to every single person on every single different rollercoaster because we all need to support one another no matter what stage of life we are all in!

I would be sitting here telling you a lie if I told you life with three has been a breeze. Now, however, in a way, having a third baby is more of a “breeze” because you know what to expect. You know the milestones, the stages, you know the sleepless nights will eventually end. So really, George has been the breeze! I call him my angel baby! I really think it also has to do with me just knowing what the newborn stage is like from having been through it before. With my first, EVERYTHING was so new, which made each month such a milestone and a bit harder. Now, I’m more calm and don’t worry as much.

But, to be honest, life with three has been the hardest!!! I had a feeling that would be so when we needed a new stroller that would fit them all and I suddenly realized it gets more complicated to take them around. Then we needed a larger car to fit three car seats!! My two older girls needed to share a room. Life became more complicated. When George came home from the hospital, long gone were the days I could rest and recover while my newborn slept. My toddlers were up early and HIGH energy all. the. time. Again, I know it’s all fleeting and short lived, so I just have to drink that coffee and know I will find my stride and it gets better.

It’s also been the hardest on our marriage. Love Chad to death and we have known each other since high school, but this stage of life has definitely rocked what once was a solid marriage. It’s a mix of sleep deprivation, the pandemic, stress and screaming toddlers. It is not a great cocktail for marriage happiness!!! But day by day and month by month we are getting better. It’s just not all peachy all of the time, and that is okay. We have to remind ourselves almost weekly that we are a team and in this together.

We had our children close in age and I am so grateful every single day to have them. But, close in age also comes with some challenges. Having George while Parker was 18 months practically felt like I had two babies to care for as Parker was still so little and not as independent as I imagined she would be. Which gives me an entirely new appreciation for anyone who has twins!!!!!!

I have a hard time talking about life with three kids because even as I write this post, I find myself feeling as if I am complaining, which I hate to feel like. Because I love them all!!! And I am so grateful for each day with them. But that does not mean it hasn’t been some of the hardest days I have ever had for many different reasons.

This entire experience of life with three kids has also really made me look at motherhood and especially working mothers and the amount of time and care it takes to raise a family. So much pressure has been placed on the modern mom!!! Unnecessary pressure from society to feed them perfectly, talk to them in perfect ways and dress them perfectly. And doing that all while working, well that can feel downright impossible. I found myself wondering how everyone does it. Do they have family coming over to help them? We have an in-home daycare that my two youngest go to three days a week that is amazing. And my working situation is a lot better now, after George I did not go back to working at the law firm I was at and I am now just working for Beautycounter at home on my own time which I am really loving. But I often wonder: how does any working mother with multiple kids do it?!?! I am at such a loss! If that is you, you amaze me!! I have truly learned that it comes down to outsourcing a lot to be able to do it. It should not be like that though and maybe it isn’t, but that is what I have come to believe. I would see women with more than three kids working a demanding full time job and when I talked to them I would learn they have a nanny that comes to the house every day. She would do laundry and help cook. That sounds like a dream… but also not realistic for most families. So, I am on a quest to connect with as many mothers as I can to band together and support each other. One thing I have learned through this entire motherhood experience is that we need each other!!!

I need ALL the tips, but thought I would round up some things that have helped me this year navigate life with three kids:

Try to take a walk every day. I did this after Dylan, my oldest, and I swear by it!! Take a walk every single day if you can! If it is nice, walk outside. Bring the baby or kids, or don’t. We take the whole fam most days or I walk alone when the kids are at daycare. It is good for my spirits and soul! I try to do it first thing each morning after breakfast.
Don’t sweat not cooking all the time. We order carry out, pre-made or have frozen food a lot. Do what is easy for you!! Sure, one day I will cook more because I really love it, but that day is not today.
Let your oldest dress and get ready! This has helped a lot. I have her pick out her clothes and get dressed. She has gotten really good and it really helps me as I am trying to get the rest ready. The day she put on her shoes and socks by herself was THE BEST, it felt like a set of arms was given to me to help everyone get ready!
Take time for yourself. For me, it is going on a solo run at least once a week. Something you can do JUST for you. We put ourselves last every single day. But we need to put ourselves first sometimes too. I also (thanks to Beautycounter), have gotten very religious about my skin care routine and it is my 2 minutes morning and night of ME TIME. Even if just a minute, it helps!!! And makes me feel good.
Outsource cleaning. If you can fit it into your budget, I would hire someone at least once a month to come and clean. I find it SO worth it to help keep up with the floors and bathrooms. I treat it like another bill we have. And it has been a game changer for us.
Keep in touch with other moms. Have them over, go on a walk, meet up for a wine night or just message with each other. My mom friends have been my heroes during motherhood. I cannot imagine going through it without them. Reach out if you need someone, because I LOVE connecting with other moms! And if you are in the St. Louis area, let’s meet up!!!

Overall, life with three littles under 4 has also been filled with the sweetest moments ever. It’s allowed me to soak in the moment and not worry about the little things I used to worry about. At the end of the day, none of that matters. They just want your love. That’s it. My heart has grown, my patience has grown and my life is no longer about just me and my achievements. I have slowed down and given myself more grace than I used to. It’s bettered me in every way possible. Life is hard and emotional, but also beautiful and sweet. And I am constantly reminded to look at life through a child’s eyes.

xx,

Anna

Thank you Felise who took these family photos! She is one of my favorite family photographers in St. Louis and my family loves her sooooo much!

Life with Three Kids