Preparing to Be a Family of Five

It doesn’t happen often, but we are all showered, dressed in real clothes and my friend Felise took family photos so everyone is in the photo together. Figured I need to write a blog post because who knows when this will ever happen again!

Wow, though. Life lately.

Is it just me or is this year extra exhausting to say the least. And on top of that we are preparing to add another to our family, so I mean, I am tired.

I am also so nauseous and my blog becomes a big less existent as I am not in the kitchen as often. Like, barely at all. It’s sad for me when I don’t post as often because this blog has been with me over 10 years, it’s a diary of sorts.

But, since I cannot muster to cook or bake, I will write a post about motherhood!!! And life lately.

First of all - pregnancy. This time around has seemed so much worse than ever before on the exhaustion/nausea front. And there is definitely not as much focus on the growing baby as I easily lose track of the weeks/months, mostly because we are chasing our other children around. And for real, all I want is to lay down and nap, which we all know what happens the minute a mom lays her head down and closes her eyes. A child wakes up from their nap. Now, I don’t want to sit here and complain because there is soooo much to be grateful for as I watch my growing belly and clothes not fitting. It doesn’t escape me the blessings we have, amid the hardships that are not talked about, and I need to focus on all of the good things. As we prepare for adding a new child to our family, my heart and prayers are also always with those I know that are trying to do the same.

Next, motherhood - it is such a roller coaster of emotion!! From pregnancy, to birth, to raising a child. It’s so much and sometimes feels like too much to bear alone. Am I doing it right? Are me kids eating enough, or ANY, vegetables?! Why isn’t my youngest walking yet? Should my 3-year old be potty trained by now? Do I read to them enough? Am I present enough? Am I missing out on too much by working? Do they eat too much sugar? Is it bad that I always forget to give them vitamins? It’s a lot…especially with the internet and every article I read just solidifies that I am doing everything so wrong or not good enough. In fact, one mom told me the other day she heard we should not tell our children “good job”. I MEAN, seriously how can anyone keep up with this stuff anymore! (I am sure there is a great article on why we shouldn’t say “good job”... but let’s cut us parents some slack and all just be loving parents, supporting our child and doing our best. They will be okay.)

One thing I will say since having my first three years ago, and what I will say to every mom I talk to, is that DO NOT WORRY HOW EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING IT. I used to worry about everything because I never felt like I was doing it the right way or as good as I needed to. I saw a lot of other moms doing everything right. It’s easy to get into a trap of comparison. But, it’s not worth it. Being there for your child is doing it right!!! Anything in between, it just matters what works for YOU.

My real life right now is that my toddler loves Lunchables and the past few months I have been so nauseous that we barely cook any home cooked meals, unless Chad cooks them… and I would lie if I said I didn’t feel guilty about this. I do. I want to be that mom with a nice dinner I made on the table every night. But I tell myself what I would tell any mom. Don’t beat yourself up, we cannot do it all. I am in a stage right now where cooking meals just isn’t going to happen. That will change in the future but right now we are doing the best we can and that is okay. Everything will be okay!!

What I have learned is that motherhood is so hard and so exhausting, but it is also the BEST feeling ever and comes with the GREATEST moments ever.

Now, preparing to be a family of FIVE. Some days I worry it’s too fast to go to three kids, other days we are so excited! I hear mixed things. Some say it’s a big change: We have to get a bigger car! And SO many car seats now!!! And what the heck do we do with strollers to fit three?! Then others say it’s really no different to add one more, you are already used to the chaos! (I like when I hear from those people ha ha). I honestly don’t know what to expect!!! We have three bedrooms, so Dylan and Parker are getting ready to share a room! We will see how that goes, Dylan is so excited and I have heard it makes your children great sleepers… I’ll report back.

I would lie to say I wasn’t nervous about adding another one with my law career. In fact, it was my first thought when my pregnancy test was positive. The truth is, it is HARD and downright almost impossible to have a full time successful career and multiple children. Unless you have in-home help (or a personal chef) I don’t know how someone can do it full time with more than two children. If someone is, please write a book or something to help us other professional moms!!! I cut down to part-time at my law firm last spring and that has helped, and I try to connect with other mom’s trying to do it as well. But trying to balance being present at home as a parent and focusing on your career - one that is stressful as well - is a tough one that I have yet to figure out. Maybe I need to read more books on this topic! I loved Michelle Obama’s Becoming book and the chapters about being a working mother in the legal profession - that really hit home. Some tell me, “Anna, I don’t know how you do it all.” Part of me laughs, and also cries inside as I feel like I’m stretched so thin. Because the truth is, I do not do it all. Or maybe it seems that I do, but I don’t do it all well. It’s easy to look at someone’s life and think they have it all down. We don’t know what is happening in their day-to-day or what they are going through, we just have these images of what we think it’s like. Myself is no different. Some days are hard, some days are good. My office is a mess most of the time. We just take it day by day.

This was a lot of babbling with no direction other than to tell every mom out there YOU ARE DOING GREAT!

I’ve found raising little ones is the best thing ever, and goes beyond any worry or obstacle I face elsewhere. To be honest, nothing else matters!! My priorities definitely change. ❤️

I guess the bottom line is that between freaking out about the state of the world, the pandemic, everyone hating on everyone else, shootings, climate change, and the fact that everything I feel like is slowly killing us…. I try to focus on the good, my family and our health, and just take things day by day. It’s all we can do right now.

I am printing these family photos and displaying them in our home to remind me that when everything was going crazy in our life, we had each other.

Thanks Felise Photography for taking photos of our family. If anyone is in St. Louis, I would check her out!!