8 Tips for Working Moms
Want to know something ironic? Once I had my first daughter, Dylan, I decided to focus a bit more on motherhood on this blog. Especially when I found out I was pregnant with our second little girl. Life suddenly was not just about the smoothie recipes and cookies I posted in this space. There was soooo much more to my story. However, baby #2 came and I found myself barely blogging on this space anymore, let alone talking about motherhood. I work as an attorney and with two little ones, it has left me barely enough time to brush my hair in the morning. That is the truth, I don’t even brush it. I put it in a low bun with a scrunchie and chalk it up to my crazy phase of life right now. This is survival mode.
But, I do think there is something that needs to be written for all the working moms that read this blog or are out there in this social space. I can feel it. Every time I post about working motherhood on my Instagram, it gets the most messages from my friends and followers who are right there in the trenches with me. It’s like we have this common bond of understanding, even without meeting. We “get it”. No explanation needed.
The second I went back to work with my first, I had an immediate appreciation for every mother who goes back to work outside the home, balances child care, pumping, dinner, pick ups, sick kids and demanding jobs that forget you even have children. I remember with Dylan, I would sit in the backseat with her when we would drive anywhere because I felt I needed as much time with her as I could get since I was not with her all day. When I was going to stop pumping, I had this immediate guilt of stopping because if I was home with her, I would still be nursing her. It’s such a roller coaster of emotion. Well, the good thing is that it does get better and as Dylan got older, her home daycare (“school”) became the best thing for her as she learned to play with others and really advance in ways I don’t think she would have alone at home with me.
Now I’m almost 7 months in with my second and still working at the same law firm. And I wanted to share a few things I’ve learned from other moms or what I do myself to TRY to balance it all.
The first thing I want to make clear is that most of the time my life feels like complete chaos and we are all just taking it day by day. I put away laundry like once every two weeks which means it sits in baskets in my room for an embarrassingly long amount of time. Most of the time, I have no idea what I am doing… but I love my kids more than anything in the world and to me, that is all that matters. And I truly believe following your passions outside of your children is to be applauded, just as staying home with your children is to be. There is no right or wrong way to be a mother!!
If you have any tricks or tips please comment on this post because I am learning every day and we can all learn from each other!!
Take time to move. This is a VERY important thing that has kept my spirits high and kept me sane. While I was on maternity leave, I made it a point to walk every morning and I swear it helped me so much. When I went back to work, I aim at moving 3 times a week. It’s usually a 30 minute run or HIIT workout, but it’s something. I will wake up in the morning and nurse and then do the workout before the kids wake up, or lately it’s been after the kids are in bed at night. Then, if the weather is nice after work, we will walk to the playground or just walk around the neighborhood after dinner. Moving makes me feel better and the walks also give my husband and I a chance to talk to each other about our days.
Outsource for Help: One thing I started doing when my second came along and work was demanding was hiring someone to clean our home once a month. I was hesitant to do it, but having someone clean the bathrooms and floors saved me precious time on the weekends that I could then spend with my daughters. Plus, the home just felt more clean! I am sooooo happy I fit this added expense into my budget because time is precious at the moment. Another thing I have dabbled in is grocery delivery, but I am still finding one I like. I was not a huge fan of Instacart, I found it expensive and my orders would often be wrong… and it was a lot of plastic bags. But I am a big fan of grocery delivery if it fits in your budget for working moms because it saved me over 2 hours on Sundays that I normally would spend going to the store! If someone has a favorite delivery service please share!!
Buy a Pumping Bra: I did not have this with my first and now I don’t know what I was thinking! I have this pumping bra and it is a lifesaver because you can still work and send emails while you are pumping! I could not recommend it enough!!!! There are some that are actual bras you wear, but I have not found one that is snug enough to work. So this one I have to put on when it’s time to pump, which for some is not the most convenient. But it works really well so I use it.
Put photos of your children in your office: It’s my motivation. I look at them all day and I am reminded why I am working in the first place. We do it all for them!
Cut yourself some slack: I am sometimes guilty of not doing this. I am so hard on myself and try to do it all. But sometimes we need to just do the best we can, and be happy we are trying our best. What I have learned is that we are NOT perfect, and I think that is what makes this wild ride so great.
Meal Prep or Meal Plan: I am horrible at this but I am really trying to get better. If I meal prep on Sunday nights the weeks go so much more smoothly. I don’t always spend too long in the kitchen on Sundays, but even just planning out your meals once you get groceries helps so much!! I also use frozen veggies and pre-cut produce a lot because time is short and it helps so much. We will also have things like the vegetable lasagna from Trader Joe’s always in the freezer for meals that take no prep at all!
Find other working mom friends: My mom network has become my life line. We vent or talk or just are there for each other. If you don’t have a mom to talk to please reach out and I will be that mom!!!!
Don’t feel guilty!! This is advice to myself because I catch myself feeling bad all of the time for time I take to do what fills ME up that does not have to do with my kids. It’s okay to want a career. It’s okay to work full time or part time. It’s okay if you are not a stay at home mom. You are still a GREAT mom because they come in all forms. We are our children’s biggest role models and I tell myself that every day when my 2 year old asks me “Mom, you go to work??” I know she looks up to me!! I know I will look back on this time and know I tried my best to be there for my children. And that I did everything I could in every aspect of my life to be where I am today as I sit here and write this post. We are all doing our best.
After writing those tips, I’ve realized there is no magic to the formula of working mom life. We are all just taking things one day at a time and trying to soak up every minute we have with our little ones while balancing adult life and stresses. I’ve said it before and I will say it again. Mothers are SUPERHUMANS.
If you are a working mom and reading this, know that I feel you and I am there with you and thinking of you! I have enjoyed connecting with so many of you and sharing our experiences. You’ve helped me in so many ways. Together, we can do this!!!!