Soon There Will be Four

As I mentioned last week, there are some changes happening over here on my blog and in my life in general.

First, I’m so excited to share that we will be welcoming another addition to the family next June! EEEK! Right now this time is filled with such emotion (and I’m already such an emotional person). I’m so anxious and excited for what’s to come, while also savoring my time with just little Dylan because it’s been so fleeting. Time goes so fast!

The process has had a rough start. I’ve been battling 24/7 nausea and sickness that has left me pretty useless for the last couple months, struggling to get my act together and dressed for work. And my workouts have been mostly non-existent lately. I also can’t stomach being in the kitchen, which probably explains why I have not posted much on my blog lately. Hopefully this will pass soon so I can get back at it and share more content!

But, as much as I want to sit on the couch all day and complain, I just cannot. I cannot because I know this journey is a tough and emotional one. I also know others that would do anything to feel nauseous and be having a baby. I know those that have lost or are trying to conceive. And as I anxiously await each appointment and pray everything will be okay, my heart breaks for every mother and father that receives news that it is not okay. I get emotional just thinking about it. I just want all of my readers to know that we are all here for each other: to celebrate the ups and provide comfort during the downs. Vulnerability makes us stronger and I think it is good to talk about our experiences because no one is alone in their own journey.  

This life change has also lead me to refocus my blogging and expand my content.

When I started this blog almost 9 years ago, I was finishing my senior year at Indiana University. I wanted to create a space where I could document my baking adventures - largely taught to me by my mom and the Food Network (avid watcher over here since high school). I still remember my brother-in-law helping me pick out the blog name “cookingannabaking.” That is what my blog was for a majority of its early stages. It’s been with me through a lot of stages in my life! Graduating college and being so anxious about what was to come; unsure about who I even was and what I was meant to do. It stuck with me through law school; where I really think this blog (along with long workouts) helped me get through school and manage my stress. Then came moving to St. Louis; a new city and new job. And two state bar exams. (St. Louis has the great pleasure of being on the border with Illinois; which means you need to pass both IL and MO bar exams to work at most firms.)  It’s been through stressful times; as well as very happy times. Falling in love with my now husband and spending much of the early years in our relationship in the kitchen.

Now flash forward to the end of 2018. My husband and I live in St. Louis’ Central West End in a two-bedroom apartment with our 16 month old. Our newest addition on-the-way has us a bit anxious to be in this tiny space. Our jobs are busy as we juggle work with home life and family time. We learn as we go. We are far from perfect, but you know what? We don’t want to be perfect. Our life works for us right now. It may not be ideal, or what “everyone else is doing” but there is no point in comparing ourselves to anyone else.

Right now I have a full time career as an attorney here in St. Louis and I’m a Director at Beautycounter where I advocate for more health protective laws. My husband works full time for St. Louis Magazine. We take Dylan to a little home daycare during the week which has been such a blessing for us. But the mom guilt is strong each and every day, don’t get me wrong. Not a day goes by I don’t wish I could just be with Dylan all day. But, on the other hand, having passions outside of raising my children is so necessary for me - I cannot lose my identity and we are our children’s biggest role model. Plus, we are both doing what is best for our family in this moment right now.

I guess the point to all of this is that my blog has grown with me as I have entered each very different stage of my adult life. I’ve recently felt the pull to focus more on motherhood and healthy living in this space because it’s such a major part of my life. I’m a busy working mom and want to show the world that you can do it all. I’ll also be sharing baby and toddler friendly recipes, of course! And cookies, don’t worry. The baking is staying. To live a well-rounded and complete life you need all of this! You need to strive to be healthy, but you must cut yourself some slack in some areas and at some special moments.

So if you’ve been following along for a while, I’m so happy to have you by my side all these years. And if you’re new, welcome! I hope you find this space helpful. With recipes, life stories, or just posts about being a normal mom trying to keep up in this not-so-normal world. I just want everyone to know and have comfort in the fact everything does not always have to be perfect, and you don’t have to do something because you “should' or to appear a certain way to the outside world. Just be YOU. Whatever that may be.

So cheers to what’s to come in the new year! Thank you for being here.

Big thanks for Jihannah Hogge of Beautiful Ordinary Photography for taking photographs of our family in forest park! And for Allie of SMALLSTRAND for designing my new website. I highly recommend both of these amazing women!!